There are so many who dedicate their lives to fixing themselves mistaking this idea for one of healing. In fact this word is bandied about so much today that it doesn’t hold the intention and meaning of the word. Take a moment to ponder the meaning:


The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.

“The gift of healing”


Tending to heal; therapeutic.

“A healing experience”

synonyms: alleviate, assuage, palliate, relieve, ameliorate, ease, help, soften, lessen, mitigate, attenuate, allay, salve

Regardless of whether you are healing your spirit, your mind or your body, if there are no improvements or major changes for the better, you are not healing. A need to ‘fix’ yourself is first a self-criticism and tends to be generalized. That is to say the idea here is that something is wrong with you. Equally it is a mistake to be told that you are perfect the way you are. If you don’t believe that, it makes it a false statement and one that cannot inspire character development or encourage you to work positive changes.

Ultimately the idea of fixing yourself becomes a huge pressure where you are inspecting yourself to such a degree that you become overwhelmed with a need to heal. . We have all seen the cosmetic junkies that end up looking horrendous, non-human even, after too many procedures. It is hard to understand how someone can do that until you realize, they are not seeing their whole face any more they are only seeing the defects, a wrinkle or a blemish. This often becomes a cycle of self obsession, a big problem for relationships and healthy attitudes.

I want you to focus for a moment on this statement. Roll it around your mind, say it out loud, read it a few times.

 “I am not seeking to fix myself. I am looking for what I would like to learn to improve my life experience.”

Insert; relationships, career prospects, lifestyle, parenting, friendships, finances

You see, healing is specific. We all have areas that need to be developed. Where there are long term substance abuse, (medication or illegal) one’s ability to understand and process feelings is undeveloped.  Where there is a tradition of avoidance then responsibility will need to be part of the equation. This article assumes you know what you need to develop whether you like to admit it or not. An example of seeking learning would be a question of self that is prepared to seek an answer wherever it may be.

“How can I be the best________________________________ that I can be?”

Others will always see the person you present, if that person doesn’t reflect who you are on the inside, it is down to you to ensure it does, by becoming more authentic. Respond to what you know about yourself, not what you want for yourself. Trust me, this works.

Healing comes when you understand that the answer comes from you, not others. That you can learn something to make a life change, you can fix relationships, improve career prospects and take control of your financial outlook. All you need to heal your life, is to be prepared to learn what you need to learn, do what you need to do and be, who you need to be.  All of this with a view to bringing your best self to the outside world.