In short, as it is presented by those who make money from your belief in it, yes. There is no doubt that it is a belief that can cause more trouble rather than less. Especially if you want to create a second relationship and have given a failed love, status that makes it difficult for you to move on. My biggest selling hypnotherapy download is ‘release the ex’. This is because regardless of perception, letting go of love isn’t easy because love is still present as often as not, at the time of a break down.
When I first began my spiritual journey teachers offered all manner of information that suggested I was in some way special and deserved to live a special life, but first I needed to be open to it. Not the usual kind of special like being alive, but totally special. There is nothing more disappointing than discovering that no matter what spiritual loop de loops I did, I was the normal kind of special. I am more than happy with that, and you will be too. Only narcissists think they are more important than others and I have spent my career in Energy Therapy saying I am not special, because I am not, certainly no more special than anyone else, no more deserving and equally responsible for my own relationships.
It is easy to buy into the idea that there is a love so incredibly soul oriented that when you meet ‘the one’ it will be a life partnership, blissfully happy and special beyond imagining. Problems started to arise when the people teaching it and making money from the concept, had their marriages start to break down and needed to find an explanation for their consistent and abject failure to do better with their soulmates, than everyone else was doing in their relationships. I don’t say ‘their’ in a specific way, like everyone else the success rate of the spiritual advisors/teachers relationships were breaking down at the same rate as the stats suggested for the western world. This is when twin flames were born or was it? The whole thing smacks of the Cinderella tale and princes who will wine and dine you but the story finishes at the marriage. We ignore the parents of the prince, who loved him and had a long relationship themselves and the long years spent bringing their son up to be a good person.
Twin flames filled the gap, supposedly these relationships were extremely difficult to get fired up and had disaster built into them. The idea over the years has become keenly adopted by the hopeful. And yet there is a hopelessness in the package. Perhaps those who hold on to this idea are more insecure in their ability to have a good relationship. Perhaps they are seeking something positive after watching their parent’s relationship fail, and then forgetting the twin flame model which then would likely make their parents relationship exactly the type of relationship they are seeking. It isn’t soul connections that tear people apart, it is a lack of them.
A good relationship can fail over time when two people lose sight of each other. This is without argument and common as 50% of all marriages breaking down. For some people not just one marriage but multiple marriages. It is easy to leave, harder to work things out. It is easy to compete with your partner, harder to put the effort in to ensure their happiness. This statement can seem contentious, but isn’t. In any good relationship both parties should seek out and work toward the genuine happiness of their partner. Once you get into the cycle of anger or control that demands the other person do what you want, regardless of how it affects them you have initiated a downward spiral. Happiness in relationships isn’t something you deserve, it is something you earn by learning what your partner yearns for and trusting they will do the same. This attitude accompanied by love will inspire the relationship to find its zenith and hold that state, potentially for a lifetime.
