Be who you wish to be, not who you were taught to be

I often talk about asking a good question. This morning a tarot student asked how to be sure you are asking a good question (one that addresses what you really need to know) when reading for herself.

The principle is the same but here are some examples to help you along when you are emotionally invested in the answer.  Emotionally invested is a desire to either validate a suspicion, or to deny it. The cards cannot fix your life or relationship, they give you information to use that can improve your life. If you make that your intention, you will get great information every time.

If you are seeking information about suspecting a cheating husband/wife, it doesn’t work well to ask the cards if they are cheating. Firstly, the cards do not do yes or no answers. If that is what you seek, it is best to see a clairvoyant/aura reader. Often yes or no queries lead to confused readings, this is made worse if you try to lay out a number of cards with a yes or no intention.

 If your partner has prior history in stepping out this will also impact the accuracy of your question because the chances are good you know pretty well what their behaviour means or, you simply don’t trust them. It is also a terrible idea to ask about other people or a person who you think may be involved. Once you ask a question that begins with a mistaken assumption, every card you lay out has no meaning. It is very important to keep the boundaries that restrict the presentation of information as wide as possible to start, then narrow the field of query as you go.

The first card will become a significator card from which all others can follow. This is called an evolving layout. Practicing this is pretty easy, you can start here for any query on any day. For example you can start with the main influence in your day, this is usually an influence that holds a major part of energy, that is to say a single event that sets the tone or ends the day, or it can be a number of things that are determined by attitude. Then you can follow that with clarification of how this will come into effect.

An evolving layout looks something like this:

  1. ‘What do I need to know to clarify my current situation with [insert name]’ If not a person you can just think of the situation.
  2. What options do I have?
  3. What can I do to improve the situation?
  4. What is the best outcome I can hope for?

The cards you lay out for each question may influence the next question. What restricts or causes problems is not accepting information, but if done correctly this layout can present a story where you hold the power over your own choices and where you direct things to go. They can cut through denials, and give you the best case scenario. If that means the end of the relationship and your partner is cheating, it is where, on some level, you understand you are headed.

The key to using information is to give yourself the best chance to plan ahead and work a situation to your advantage. If your partner is going to exit the relationship, you will always do better by accepting this and planning for it, legally or otherwise. If your partner is not planning on exiting the relationship but continues to be dishonest or engage in extra marital affairs, you may wish to exit the relationship of your own accord so you can heal and move on rather than putting years of pain into false hope.

I am often asked why a person who can read tarot well for others, would struggle with information when they are reading for themselves. I will always go to the question, layout and intention. These are the master three when it comes to getting accurate information. It is precisely this type of problem that led me to write ‘Tarot Companion’. With a large number of layouts, you can get varied and accurate information while asking about different areas of your life.

Let’s start with intention. If you have something that is playing on your mind, you might use the cards as a distraction by asking about other aspects. Love may be an issue, but you ask about finances. The cards are more likely to reflect the stronger energy and not the question which can be confusing. The way to avoid this is to address the issue at hand. If you feel you are asking about one thing a lot, you can use different layouts and questions to get to the bottom of things. Another important area related to intention is to maintain the question in the interpretation. If you don’t understand cards well you may think that asking about career and getting emotional cards makes the answer more about love or passion. It doesn’t. Hold tight to the intention you had when laying out the cards. This is explained in the Card Interpretation are of ‘Learn Tarot’. Intention is important when it comes to what you want to gain when you layout a spread. If you want repeated predictions, it doesn’t help because once you have a prediction, that information doesn’t necessarily change. You can change what you are doing, saying or how you are behaving. What is your intention really? Are you seeking a new action, a way to help yourself out of a jam? If you get a prediction that isn’t inspiring or is open ended, then think of the next spread that can offer you a way to heal, inspire or change the future to your benefit. That may not get you what you want today, but it will give you a way to explore new avenues and create something different. There are layouts for healing, planning and partnerships which can be immensely helpful to ensure you keep going forward.

Next we look at Layouts. Three card spreads are a great way to do mini readings often without over indulging in a single area while covering all the bases. This resolves the intention question by ensuring if it is there, you address it. You can conceivably read five separate layouts with three card spreads, and get more accuracy than you could imagine. Bigger readings like a Celtic Cross can be too complex for single area readings, and in particular are not helpful if you are doing regular layouts. It is too easy to end up interpreting the cards based on how you feel, and not the information being offered up. Using layouts with specific directives makes a huge difference, we can’t always do a past, present and future spread and expect helpful information. Even if you ask about the same situation, by using different and appropriate layouts can reveal information that can help you.

The question is the ultimate guide to the answers you are seeking. A common mistake is to ask the wrong question. As an example if you are asking about a particular man/woman and the prediction is negative for a future. Add to that, if you have a non future scenario for anything, you can’t get accurate information by progressive questioning or changing how you ask the question. Suck it up buttercup and move on. Continuing to ask about that person is pointless. You can use progressive questioning to see which direction things will go. Say you get a negative for a particular person, you can then open up the questioning by asking about love in general, then you can also ask questions about process. Is there something you can do or change to increase your chances of finding love in a timely manner. Insert career, finances, family or lifestyle into the main interest on the day. If you have a problem at work, asking about career in general won’t elicit the information you need. Ask specifically about that problem and use the questions guide to find the best layout. If you are causing the problem, the cards will show you that too, in which case you can look for a solution.

Tarot reading can be an intense and precise form of advice, it requires no other person if you can do it for yourself, and can help you through stressful times if used well. Learning or having a reference for the symbols in the cards, using timing without changing the meaning of cards and more are worth having around when reading for yourself so that if your eye is drawn to a part of a card you can know what that means. If you have a question that includes timing, make sure you are clear about using the word when  rather than how long. There are good clear questions and then there are bad murky questions, the latter won’t yield good answers. When you develop your knowledge and have resource or reference to guide you, it is easier to think outside the box and by doing something a little different it breaks Tarot habits that can be limiting.

Dorothy’s Books

Using cards as a divination tool has merit but is far from the extent to which you can use tarot. As a guide to healing the cards can be insightful and provide a way to a better future, rather than reading a future. It comes down to the question you ask yourself as you are shuffling your cards. The cards that come out in this type of self reading, are not subjective, you take the base phrase or meaning for the card at face value. Rest assured that it is not your sun sign, rising sign or any other basic archetype causing issues, it is up to you as an adult to recognize current problems that you play a part in.

Often the base or even the very thing that is causing issues in relationships, making it hard to hold down a job, or interfering with your ability to make good life choices is elusive. Mostly our cognitive skills are given the task of looking outward for reasons or causes, this exercise encourages you to take responsibility for yourself today, even if you are not the cause. It is fair to say if you experienced a tough upbringing, accident or worse, it isn’t your fault that you developed a strategy to cope and respond to the tiniest cues as a self preservation. It is also fair to say, that today, here and now, ONLY you are responsible for healing it and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.

1: What needs to be healed?

The card that comes out here is the personal inner area of difficulty or what affects other areas of your life.

2: Can I resolve this aspect?

This is an important question, if someone/something damaged you in the past it cannot be undone. But identifying this is important to finding solutions.

3: What direction do I need to take to begin healing?

This card will show you a starting point, once this is found you will be amazed at how it sets the stage for a continued journey. Now you are able to focus on going forward, in itself a path that leads away from inner pain and firmly toward closure.

While this is not a comprehensive guide it certainly can be revealing and get you on your way. Your path may take you to hypnosis, art journaling, energy therapy programs or on a path of self development in the energy fields to help others as you work through your own pain to a point of
having something valuable to share.

Check out my Tarot Books on Amazon  Learn Tarot, Tarot Mysteries, Tarot and the Planets, Tarot Companion